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How do you Poo?

Well it’s been almost 2 months here in Medellin, Colombia and I’m getting a bit worried. Back home in Canada I was quite regular dropping a duce about twice a day. Here in Colombia I’m lucky to dump twice a week. I don’t understand I’m eating well and eating fruit about twice a day and drink lots a bottled water.
Any new residents of Colombia have this problem? I don’t want to take laxatives but if I don’t get regular again I think I might have to leave the country.

paz

By papiChulo on Jan 22, 2009, 13:45 in Friendly Talkzone.


Elmin says on Jan 22, 2009, 13:51:

i think you should get the first plane out of here

3 funny, 3 helpful.

turnmeon says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:05:

it will get back to normal soon, anyways eat some bananas, they will take you straight to the bathroom, or a sopa de cola de vaca will do it too

0 funny, 0 helpful.

turnmeon says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:06:

yes i had the same problem, la sopa did it for me, it lasted about a month, maybe a little bit more, but now im good and going

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Shortiao says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:11:

when I first came here I was quite the opposite. 2 healthy logs a day. Mind you, for my entire week in Bogota I never shit once....i guess by the time I got to Medellin I was playing catch up.

Maybe you're shiting in your sleep. sleep-shitting....logging off in the middle of the night and no trace the next day,

"cuando una persona toma otro pasaporte....pierde su identidad!" - Shortiao

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papiChulo says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:11:

thanks turnmeon... I'll try the bananas but the soup sounds like shit... hehe.

Elmin... constipation is a very serious problem. Don't you have some remedy other than me leaving the country?

I'm givin'er... givin'er HARDCORE

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Elmin says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:13:

i have one, but it would get my post deleted

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papiChulo says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:14:

Shortario... maybe you're right.I just thought the matress was just a lumpy one.

I'm givin'er... givin'er HARDCORE

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jonny305 says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:17:

colonoscopy 40 and up

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juicerbud says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:29:

papaya and plenty of it!

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Gator says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:36:

Mucho sandía o agua de coco. (In English called the tropical trots)

"Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare" .

0 funny, 0 helpful.

turnmeon says on Jan 22, 2009, 14:40:

drink a glass of water after you eat the bananas and it will get you going as soon as now

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Corey3368 says on Jan 22, 2009, 15:06:

Can't beleive I click on the link to read this!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

omargue says on Jan 22, 2009, 16:55:

pitaya is the best but expensive.....but the best thing to do is eat lots of papaya and fiber. when you wake up drink a glass of water and a piece of papaya, but yourself some fiber at la 14 about 15mil and that'll have you going good

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goin_south says on Jan 22, 2009, 17:16:

omargue beat me to the draw;
PITAYA... GUAranteed... to do the trick.
(pC... don't eat more than ___!)
Knowin papiChulo,... he'll probably like the 'explosiveness', ...
not to mention the precursory cramping... jajjaja

0 funny, 0 helpful.

webmanco says on Jan 22, 2009, 17:52:

Exercise and Pitaya as stated before

No hay extremo cierto o verdadero, porque los extremos opacan, enruedan, (lavan cerebros) verdades. Yotas

0 funny, 0 helpful.

vicshere says on Jan 22, 2009, 18:13:

dam i go 6 times a day wish it was 3 times a weeks
laxatives ???
just drink some tape water it will clean you right up

0 funny, 0 helpful.

ayjaybee says on Jan 22, 2009, 20:52:

As disturbing as it is, I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one..........

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bufalo says on Jan 22, 2009, 20:56:

pitaya is good, but I lost major weight every time I chugged down a nice glass of tapwater while on the coast - had sixpack abs for a few days later!

"If you don't like it - lump it, take it down the road and dump it." - Archie Bunker played by Carroll O'Connor Avianca sucks major.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

goin_south says on Jan 22, 2009, 21:11:

Hey papiChulo... go have a few rounds with that gal with the green crash helmet;
That would make me chit! ajj

0 funny, 0 helpful.

adrimm (Moderator) says on Jan 22, 2009, 22:27:

I have heard that granadilla (a few a day), can help moves things along - or at least have been warned as I *do* eat at least one a day when in Colombia. Don't recall any changes tho..

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kalder says on Jan 23, 2009, 00:21:

Chocolate and coffee.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Robert Jorge says on Jan 23, 2009, 05:03:

I have a buddy who has the same problem. He attributes it to the cheese. I know somebody above is swearing by bananas as a laxative, but I have had doctors tell me they actually harden things up?

Just a good ol' intestinal infection will cure you. Try hand bagged street vendor peanuts.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Shortiao says on Jan 23, 2009, 05:29:

I usually find I have a turtles head after a cup of coffee in the morning...

"cuando una persona toma otro pasaporte....pierde su identidad!" - Shortiao

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 23, 2009, 05:30:

Yep, coffee works for me too. And a cigarete seems to provide a synergistic effect.

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ColombiaBoard says on Jan 23, 2009, 06:01:

Yes...PITAYA...go to the supermarket and get 2 or 3 of those yellow fruits. They taste great by the way, eat them all and stay close to the toilet the rest of the day.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

papiChulo says on Jan 23, 2009, 09:34:

well I think the cure is the pitaya... not too sure about some of the others tho. I'm off to Exito today. I'll let you all know how it all comes out... lmao :P

I'm givin'er... givin'er HARDCORE

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Mononoke28 says on Jan 23, 2009, 09:52:

Another thread about crapping in Colombia. PBH's favorite threads.

Diana

1 funny, 0 helpful.

Robert Jorge says on Jan 23, 2009, 10:12:

I was thinking the same thing Mono. But I have to admit, I love the topic. It's hilarious. I never tried the pitaya thing. But never needed the help. Is it similar to maracuya?

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Lisa Zee says on Jan 23, 2009, 10:28:

Drink lots of water as soon as your get up, pitaya is the best but start with half only, it tastes delicious, so don`t get carried away it is very strong.

Robert Jorge, pitaya it is nothing like maracuya. I think Lcaique posted pics once.

The truth will set you free.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

goin_south says on Jan 23, 2009, 10:43:

""I'll let you all know how it all comes out...""
papiC... do we REALLY NEED OR HAVE TO KNOW? jjjeej

funny, Mononononoke!

And, pC... Lisa's right.
My second time into Colombia, in Pasto... my novia brought me some breakfast in bed.
There was something on the plate, slices of this little fruit laden with seed, and I didn't have a clue... but, when I asked for more, she brought me ONLY another very small slice or two, to which I complained: "HEY! THAT STUFF IS GOOOOOOD! MORE! POR FAVOR!.......

Well... she was lookin out for me.... THANK GOD.... she wouldn't give me more.

But, I think it's one of the tastier fruits ever.
Now, I suppose too, it was just exactly at the best RIPE stage.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Mononoke28 says on Jan 23, 2009, 11:04:

I'm not a fruit person so I've never had it but everyone tells me it's delicious. They were selling some at the grocery store by my house here in Denver, almost $4USD each. Ridiculous. And yeah, they'll unclog you in record timing (or so they tell me).

Diana

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papiChulo says on Jan 23, 2009, 11:56:

ok... I just made a big fruit salad with pitahaya, papaya, banano and maracuya washed down by galsses of water.

I think going south knows me too well... but I'm not enjoying the stomach cramps right now... :(

I'm givin'er... givin'er HARDCORE

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Escape Artist says on Jan 23, 2009, 12:40:

Bananas... To poo or not to poo??

http://www.natural-health-remedies.net/bananas-and-constipation.html

EA

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Mononoke28 says on Jan 23, 2009, 13:42:

papiChulo says on Jan 23, 2009, 11:56 (today)
ok... I just made a big fruit salad with pitahaya, papaya, banano and maracuya washed down by galsses of water.
I think going south knows me too well... but I'm not enjoying the stomach cramps right now... :(
-----------------------------
Ok, you just gave us a description of what you ate and how you feel. Please don't give us a description of what comes out.

Diana

0 funny, 0 helpful.

esanch36 says on Jan 23, 2009, 13:50:

When i lived in colombia for a year this happened to me....the first 2 months i was always backed up...then the rest of the time i was laying huge pipes down. I think my body was just adjusting to all the fruit i was eating...last couple of months where the best poops of my life.

1 funny, 0 helpful.

vicshere says on Jan 23, 2009, 14:42:

now that you brought up the best poop in your life i will tell you about my worst poop in my life....and that's where i had to dig it out with a spoon....i say no more...just send me the prize now

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Mononoke28 says on Jan 23, 2009, 14:46:

My uncle had to do that with one of my cousins when he was little. We found a guava tree and knocked down all these guavas that he later proceeded to eat. I personally don't like fruit that much so I ate a few while he ate the rest. Dude, the next day he was CLOGGED UP!!! and sure enough, here comes my uncle with a spoon and told him to bend over. XD

Diana

0 funny, 0 helpful.

papiChulo says on Jan 23, 2009, 15:19:

con mucho gusto johnny2008... :)

BTW... still waiting for the megga dump... :(

I'm givin'er... givin'er HARDCORE

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Elmin says on Jan 23, 2009, 15:31:

This might be a good one for the photo album on here PapiChulo

0 funny, 0 helpful.

papiChulo says on Jan 23, 2009, 16:24:

thanks for the fotos vic.. you're a good shit. ;)

I'm givin'er... givin'er HARDCORE

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goin_south says on Jan 23, 2009, 19:24:

" "dam i go 6 times a day " " (vichere)

And, .. Vic, you're still full of chit! what gives?

1 funny, 0 helpful.

turnmeon says on Jan 24, 2009, 07:11:

hey go to the doctor if you are still having that constirpation problem, thats bad, thanks god im good now, but you really need to go, buy a supositorio in a farmacia and ask the girl in the counter how to use it(it look like a pill, but its is not), thats will get you going too

0 funny, 0 helpful.

turnmeon says on Jan 24, 2009, 07:12:

btw i dont know if the fruit salad was a good idea, the fruit by itself may have been better

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vicshere says on Jan 24, 2009, 07:17:

boy someone really cleaned this post up....ok which mod is the maid ?

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turnmeon says on Jan 24, 2009, 07:18:

hey here is a image that may help you to understand how to properly use a supositorio
Photobucket

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turnmeon says on Jan 24, 2009, 07:18:

that will get you going

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goin_south says on Jan 24, 2009, 09:33:

Vic, thank god, I think you got flushed.

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vicshere says on Jan 24, 2009, 09:36:

yes i did it was messy

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papiChulo says on Jan 24, 2009, 09:44:

turnmeon... That thing about sticking a pill up yer arse has just scared the shit outta me... thanks.

I'm givin'er... givin'er HARDCORE

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vicshere says on Jan 24, 2009, 10:10:

its not a pill its more like a 9 mm bullet

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turnmeon says on Jan 24, 2009, 12:18:

yeah it is more like a 9mm bullet, but thats a sure bet, many mothers use it on their kids when they are constirpating, just insert it and wait in the restroom for your 5 minutes of glory

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turnmeon says on Jan 24, 2009, 12:20:

vic did i miss anything?

0 funny, 0 helpful.

papiChulo says on Jan 24, 2009, 20:50:

johnny... mate I tell ya after seeing the thing turnmeon posted about the supositorio I've had 3 dumps today.
Dosen't make any sense to me either to shove something up when there's already too much up there in the 1st place.

I'm givin'er... givin'er HARDCORE

0 funny, 0 helpful.

turnmeon says on Jan 25, 2009, 10:01:

hey paichulo im glad that i helped you to go, ok now you know the cure, everytime you have a constirpation problem, think about sticking a supositorio in your ass and it will do it for you lol

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Lisa Zee says on Jan 25, 2009, 11:09:

You guys still talking about poo, jajaja. here is a picture of a pink pitaya.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

The truth will set you free.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

asdfn says on Jan 25, 2009, 11:30:

It could be the shock on your system from the change in surroundings. I got hit by a car riding my bike when I was 14 and didnt poop for like 2 weeks. But when I did oh man . . . I almost needed an extra bed pan. Probably lost 15 lbs.

Different shock, but thought Id share

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goin_south says on Jan 25, 2009, 22:49:

if papiC had been hit by a car... twould have been the car,.... sin movamiento ;-)

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goin_south says on Jan 25, 2009, 23:05:

no; hopefully,... she got the point... la punta....

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Mononoke28 says on Jan 26, 2009, 11:10:

casa_de_norte says on Jan 25, 2009, 22:58:
pitaya is good shit! love it!! Also Lulu juice.. My God! that is delicious... whenever my wife fixes it for me, I try to entice back to bed, because the only thing more delicious is well... you get the point..
-----------------------------
TMI... =X

Diana

0 funny, 0 helpful.

goin_south says on Jan 26, 2009, 15:39:

si; pitaya is like so many a colombianita:
Taste so good/if not handled with care, ... very explosive ;-)))

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 26, 2009, 23:33:

Lulu juice? Great stuff .... is this what you're talking about?
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 26, 2009, 23:34:

I still have no idea how to reduce the size of my pics here. Sorry.

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kenblanquito says on Jan 27, 2009, 06:02:

A diet consisting of daily generous helpings of fruit, fibre, wholegrain cereals and water should do the trick.
Large amounts of animal fat, frying oils, white rice, white arepas, meat and alcohol will block you up! Anxiety is another culprit and living here out of your natural environment can cause stress.
Think about how you eat when you are back home and compare it with now. Try to have more control over your intake, particularly if the majority of your food is being cooked by a Colombian mother-in-law, for example! You may find that drinking loads of Colombian bottled water does not help either because it probably has very low concentrations of essential minerals; it is just safer microbiologically for us foreigners. For example, London tap water contains 450 milligrams per litre of dissolved salts, bottled water here probably less than 50 and in some cases less than 10. Try taking mineral supplement tablets or drink those special "high salts" drinks that athletes use, they do exist here; we need certain levels of calcium, magnesium, sodium, potassium, chloride and sulphate to remain in tip-top condition.
Good luck and sticking missiles up your anus is only a temporary solution!

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kenblanquito says on Jan 27, 2009, 06:05:

I rarely have problems here but if I do, I find 2 large hot coffees or teas does the trick! Or if you cannot drink these, a litre of hot water helps too!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

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