Hi guys, I was assaulted with a gun at gym in Medellin...yikes...looking for advice-

nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 14:46:

Hey Mike, was this at the gym above the clinic? In La mota?
I think you handled yourself fine. What are you supposed to do?
If you take action (physical) against him, you're either dead or you'll end up in prison.
I'd follow through with pressing charges. If he wasn't such a coward, you could tell him
that you'll drop all charges if he never enters your life again.
Good Luck!

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nine inch nails says on Dec 14, 2007, 14:51:

Real glad you are Ok. Did he point the gun at you (hope not)? In the Marine Corps they said the only reason someone points a gun is to use it.

Again real glad you are Ok bro.

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Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:00:

You're alive so it sounds like you handled things just fine.

When I first arrived in Colombia I got in a confrontation with a person who was abusing a child in a shopping mall. It wasn't like I threatened the person or anything, I just told them that what they were doing was wrong and that they needed to stop treating the child this way. My Colombian friend who was with me nearly pissed himself and said to me, "I know why you did what you just did, and morally you're right, but never do that again in Colombia. You NEVER know who you're dealing with in this country and there are a lot of people who will just have you killed."

I hate the underlying sentiment behind that but it was ultimately good advice.

If I were you I'd think pretty seriously about making some changes of where you live and where you hang out to make it more difficult for this psycho to find you if he's still got an axe to grind.

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Lowell says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:01:

Yes, you have to be careful who you yell at. Even if you're in the right. Pride runs very strong here and people don't like to be put down infront of others. It's so strong my wife will have her son enter the house before she scolds or punishes him.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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spigrimace says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:06:

Sorry to hear of your ordeal. Yes file charges! He´s a coward and doesn´t have the balls to pull the trigger (thankfully). If he was going to kill you, he would have as he had his chance already. I hope those witnesses at the gym will testify. Who knows if he´d come after you again but I´d put him away to make sure there´s a guaranteed time that he won´t. He wont be in jail too long but it will mar his record which may make him think twice about doing something that foolosh again and now totally different thinking, this incident would probably shoot himself in the foot of ever getting a visa to the US or Europe. Dont wait anymore as you are giving him time to run and a defense lawyer might ask why you waitied.

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:07:

Yeah, it's better to swallow your pride and go about your business. I once protected a woman from a psycho in New York City, only to find out he was an ex - felon released from prison 2 days earlier! I was lucky to not get my head handed to me!!

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:09:

.

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rhydewithdis (☼Travelguide writer) says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:09:

msherry says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:10:

Thanks guys...

So, the general consensus is that I should follow through with the report/denuncia?

Ideally, the guy never enters my life again, I never see him....etc. Considering the only place I had ever seen him was the gym....and he's been banned for life....well...thats good.

I have no intention of finding "street justice".....I want to leave it up to the police and whoever handles it./....they have all of his info, etc.

Thanks guys for the quick comments!

Looking forward to any more that you might have!

lots love!

mike

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:19:

o

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msherry says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:20:

Yikes gringoinbogota!!

Have him killed??

I just want to continue on with my life...but do you guys think that I have cause for concern here? I need to let the police or whoever know if I feel that I could be in future danger.

I want my life back!!! Am I on the right path? Should I leave the country for a while??

mike

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tejasmarcos says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:22:

i would try to find out from the police what type of background he has first. not sure if they will tell you that information, but it would sure help to know if he has a rap sheet or violent past. if he is indeed dangerous by virtue of his history, i would drop the matter with the police and just avoid the guy, forget the matter and move on.

trying to walk a straight line on sour mash and cheap wine...

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:24:

franks

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Gomezman5 says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:27:

Goodness.....incredible. I leave this place for a few months, check back in, and it as if I never left. Nothing changes here. This is about the only place I know where life stands still.

In any event......as almost always, I too have to agree with GIB. Colombia is not the place where you pick up the phone, call 911, a cop shows up, you sign complaint, a guy arrested, charged with a crime, and then must show up in court in a month....where you of course get to testify against him. Different world. Different rules.

If I were you msherry, if you see a problem on the horizon, swallow your pride and walk away.
If you don't, you can be sure that you being the outsider, are at a distinct advantage in any confrontation of that nature. If ya want to live in Colombia......brace yourself for the ride of a sort you're not used to.

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Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:31:

His actions pretty much speak for themselves as to being involved in bad things and people.

A pissed off accountant doesn't show up at the gym with a piece and pistolwhip someone.

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:33:

Very good point Mr. Hollywood. To extend that line of thought, a common low-life petty criminal doesn't go to nice gyms either. So that would suggest, well, that this character is indeed fucked up, and not someone you want in your life at all.

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:38:

Sounds like fun!!!! I bet he wished he didn't post now that all these doom and gloom ideas are out there!!

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Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:45:

On the bright side, Colombians seem to have a very short memory for grudges. I know any number of folks who have fled the country after one kind of threat or another only to return a year later and everything was tranquilo.

Personally, when someone seriously threatens my life I remember it for a LONG time. And if I were ever so pissed off at someone I wanted to kill them, I don't think that anger would disperse just because a year passed.

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:49:

Good percentage! How'd you come up with that?
What's my percentage of getting shitfaced tonight?

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:54:

There's the optimist coming out in you!!! GiB, I knew you had it in you!
And to answer my own Q... 100 %!

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john_stark says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:55:

GIB is right. What the gringos don't realize and why I think they have no business in Colombia is they are not prepared to live life like Colombians. A Colombian would have this guy killed. I bet you don't even have any contacts, do you? If you're living there, you better make sure you got some "friends" with a lot of firepower. Someone messes with me - I'll have Dona Bertha put the word out and they'll have the entire AUC on their ass.

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lpdiver says on Dec 14, 2007, 15:58:

Put your "novia" on the case. She knows this person or can find out all the facts.

t

Remember what the monkey says, "Fuck money it's free"

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panthdave says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:08:

GIB states the same my Novia says...Keep your mouth shut..and ignore...I noticed many advances at my GF and at first was alittle annoyed but learned the system in Colombia....No big deal..telephone calls I would get pissed alittle if he calls my houseline..but if calls my GF on the cellphone its her choice to talk to him..but my GF can't stand those kind of guys and ignores all advances she thinks there stupid and she told me one day David if I go after one of those kind of guys you should just leave me I am not worth it but don't confront somebody unless its necessary to the final point which those situations never happen she tells me..You never know.. So I have no problems...at all..I just ignore and there just whistles and she told me anyways if they call her let me tell them not to call not you..that will cause problems..

To the point I would leave it alone..and not file the report..I do have contacts now within the "Family of Trust" jaja but I don't get myself in bad situations so I don't have to go that direction...

Tough Situation I would be pissed...but rather be safe and smart..

panthdave Miami

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Morrongo says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:11:

He don't sound too bright attacking you in Gym from behind and not picking a secure location.On saying that, change your routine straight away.
First, I would, get the guy checked out,not sure what it would cost in Medellin, but 200,000 should cover it.You live there, so must have contacts. Once you get that info ,you can make a better decision who or what you are dealing with. There are other ways of resolving this without a fatality,but cross that bridge when required. Don't report it until you know who you are dealing with,on the face of it, not much more than a pesky unpleasant problem...but do your homework first
Hope you skip past this mess real quick

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Morrongo says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:17:

He don't sound too bright attacking you in Gym from behind and not picking a secure location.On saying that, change your routine straight away.
First, I would, get the guy checked out,not sure what it would cost in Medellin, but 200,000 should cover it.You live there, so must have contacts. Once you get that info ,you can make a better decision who or what you are dealing with. There are other ways of resolving this without a fatality,but cross that bridge when required. Don't report it until you know who you are dealing with,on the face of it, not much more than a pesky unpleasant problem...but do your homework first
Hope you skip past this mess real quick

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slguy says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:21:

I'm trying to understand how this moron got your girl's number in the first place - and why she continued answering the phone after he started calling her....but be that as it may, seems to me 2 options make sense. Drop it completely, it get it taken care of outside the "justice" system.....

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:27:

I

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coffee beaner says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:28:

easy slguy, she is probably a "perra"... no offense msherry!

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:29:

case in point

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coffee beaner says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:31:

We'll is true manINred... I see it everyday at school and clubs here in Medellin, can't talk about the rest of the country but it's nothing weird in Medellin.

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lpdiver says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:33:

Like I said...put the heat on the novia and see if things really make sense.

t

Remember what the monkey says, "Fuck money it's free"

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:37:

what's nothing weird? Mafiosos making advances on women and getting pissed at rejection?

Hmmm, well, it's easy to lay the blame on her when the whole reason that he is pissed is because she rejected him and the novio told him to lay off. It's easy to blame her, but probably not correct to do so, considering after all she rejected him.

And I see every day girls having to deal with shit from men who can't take no, my own exgirlfriend and her friends included. Some would get really pissed, and try and mess me over, to no avail :) so i sympathize with poor mr. sherry.

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Medellin Traveler says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:41:

As crazy as some of you may believe, I agree with gringoinbogota's comments.

msherry,
Why is this guy calling your novia? Why is she taking his calls?

My best advice, is move out of your apartment and DO NOT return to that particular gym. I would keep a low profile for sometime. I think, with time, this will blow over.

It may also be time to find another novia.

Discover Medellin, Antioquia - Colombia www.medellintraveler.com

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:43:

Yeah and his girl taking abuse is crossing the line, but hey -- freedom of speach and Sherry did ask for opinions. He is really sorry he posted now! If ever he doubted his muneca it's now!

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slguy says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:48:

I wasn't accusing anyone of anything, just for the record. BUT- GIB's right, and as I asked - how did it get this far? ignoring calls is easy.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:50:

"Men are not bothering them when they hav ea boyfriend unless she has a rep of going out on her boyfriend. A nice girl needs to say nothing more than that she has a boyfriend. If he keeps bothering her then she puts him on ignore"

Not at all gringoinbogota. I know that's not the case, because I've experienced it in Colombia. Well, witnessed it. It depends completely upon the girl and situation. The Colombian macho will continue despite the answer no, and she certainly doesn't have to lead him on for him to do so. Anyway, who's to say that Sherry's novia was leading this dude on?

I just think it's far-fetched to blame her for this man's obviously disgraceful conduct.

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:53:

I have to side with you El Rojo. Plus all the facts aren't on the table.
Sherry hasn't chimed in, so why are we so concerned at this point? Ciao

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coffee beaner says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:53:

msherry listen to GIB... he knows whats up.

Also msherry if you really feel your life is in danger I can suggest you going to "la oficina" in Envigado, tell them your story and they can deal with the character that is fucking with you. Private message me if you need more info, cheers!

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bartolo_colon says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:55:

Have you got a visit from DAS yet? They are likely to be informed because you are an extranjero, and could have been murdered not just assaulted....My advice, is get out of dodge for a while. I was humping the girlfriend of a gangster, by accident of coarse, a little birdy came up to me on the street, and whispered in my ear "you are a dead man". I packed up and left, I suggest you do the same. In the words of Walter Sobchak: "you are out of your element dude"

Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

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Medellin Traveler says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:57:

"Yeah and his girl taking abuse is crossing the line, but hey -- freedom of speach and Sherry did ask for opinions. He is really sorry he posted now! If ever he doubted his muneca it's now!" - nueva york bombero

I have idea why you think "he is really sorry he posted now!"

He asked for advice on a pretty hairy situation, A MAN WITH A GUN THREATEND HIS LIFE!!

What part do you not understand? It is not worth getting killed over a novia who gives another guy her phone number, takes his calls, and for whatever reason, she decides to tell msherry all about her problems with this pyscho Colombiano!

It's KILL or BE KILLED, in COLOMBIA!

Discover Medellin, Antioquia - Colombia www.medellintraveler.com

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:57:

u

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:58:

I love that movie. No one I know likes it though! Tumbling on with the tumblin tumbleweeds!

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slguy says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:58:

"if you ever feel that your life is endangered"

I'd say that horse has left the barn already....

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:59:

And if this dude helped her dad fix the computer, don't you think the dad would have given the house number? Just a far-out thought...

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:00:

MiR -- you are the calmest person posting here. Good to be rational...

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:03:

why thank you :)

It's good to have opposing points of view, makes for interesting banter. And in this dude's case, perspective is absolutely necessary.

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:06:

Yeah, but he's probably sick to his stomach if he's reading!
Murder, infidelity, leaving your home, sounds like a movie!
But this is his reality!
Suerte........

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Chelesupercono says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:09:

The best solution is to just give the guy your novia.....dude you live in Colombia.....there is hot chucha everywhere....losing your life over a women....WTF

never go to bed with someone crazier then you are, you will do it and you will regret it.......

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lpdiver says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:14:

If the guy wanted to murder him he would already be dead.

t

Remember what the monkey says, "Fuck money it's free"

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jay007 says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:19:

this guy is callin your girl cause he THINKS YOUR A BITC* and knows you wont do anything,personally i think the guy is a lil punk coward wanna be,real men dont do green ass shi* like that...but on the other hand you NEED TO CHECK YOUR GIRL! sometimes women can be very "stupid" and overly nice,tell her not to go around smiling and being so damn friendly to everybody..unless shes trying to get your ass killed. AND DUDE WATCH YOUR BACK FOR NOW ON your not in kansas anymore todo. colombia has self defence laws to.you have the right to defend yourself amigo!! there not crazy..we are the ones that are crazy! you should of beat his little ass took that gun and blew his damn head off...you better hope no one knows you let him get away with that,or your gonna get tried and disrespected left and right. G-code baby...or just pray...god is real and will look out for you...godbless.

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jay007 says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:22:

ps..THE COPS DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU GRINGO...dont be a snitch

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msherry says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:25:

Thanks guys-

I'm going to be laying VERY low...and will fish for any info my novia can provide.

Contrary to popular belief...I am "connected" here in Medellin, but I just havent been around those type of people for a while. That being said, I wont shut that door completely...... I've been here for 3 years, and I believe that I DID prepare myself well for living here speak fluent spanish, got my visa, dont mess with drugs or prepagos, etc.......but this was 100% dumb on my part......and I let my pride or whatever cloud my judgement...I have walked away from and ignored so much stuff in the past....anyway...like you guys said...whats done is done. So...yeah.

Although what some of you guys said seems to be a bit harsh...I will not be taking any chances...and I thank you for your input....I really do.

But please if any of you guys are just trying to get a rise out of people or me with scare tactics or whatever...thats not really necessary.... I really just wanted some down to earth experience/advice...which I do appreciate.

thanks guys

mike

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jay007 says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:31:

man you need to get that dude!!! im gettin pissed about even hearing about this shi*...yeah medellin travler is right your girl either aint got no common sense or shes just shady....LISTEN, SHE KNEW WHAT HIS INTENTIONS WHERE...SHE SEEN THAT IN HIS EYES...YOU LET YOUR GIRL GIVE OUT HERE NUMBER??LOL YOUR A DUCK...IN THAT CASE GIVE HER MINE...JUST FRIENDS MY ASS.

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Lowell says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:32:

I married the local barrio princess. Many a dude were not happy with me. I walked softly for a long time here and like another poster said, Make friends with the appropriate people. I did that an know people from all walks of life. Even some of the crazies. One time I was receiving trouble from someone. Without warning or knowledge I was visited by a mafia rep. They already knew all about me. I was asked a few questions about my intent and purpose for being here and I basicly told him I was starting a new life with a new famiily and had a new baby. That was well received. That was what they thought. I was then asked if I wanted the person wacked. I asked that he only have some seroius fear put into him. I never saw or heard from him again. Word is that he left town.

It's really important to never forget that Colombia is a totally different place than most people come from. Much more wild and untamed.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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bartolo_colon says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:32:

GIB is right,The best option is to just leave, now. This shit happens all the time. Go out to the coast for a couple months. You are not being a pussy if you leave, you are being smart. Or You could try quoting Jesus Quintana:" Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click." ...probably not a good option

Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

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jay007 says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:33:

HES GONNA BE PISSED HE GOT BANNED FOR LIFE FROM THE GYM...THIS DUDE IS HOOD...HE DOESNT THINK LIKE YOU OR THESE RICH SHELTERD GRINGOS ON HERE..HES GONNA COME GET YOUR ASS.

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lpdiver says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:34:

IF he wanted his ass the man would already be worm food.
t

Remember what the monkey says, "Fuck money it's free"

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Lowell says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:36:

Maybe now he's even more pissed.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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jay007 says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:38:

JUST READ GRINGOINBOGOTAS COMMENT...YEAH HES DEAD RIGHT...JUST COME HOME..

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Medellin Traveler says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:45:

In any case, msherry has read the replies and has made a decision. He for one, appreciated the replies and has made a decision. Let's respect that, no need to continue with the scare tactics. This is a very serious issue, and should be treated as such.

Let's all hope this guy is more of a coward than anything more serious.

Best of luck, msherry!

Discover Medellin, Antioquia - Colombia www.medellintraveler.com

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vicshere says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:51:

agree with GIB 10000000000% she's the problem...she started the problem...get ride of the problem ASAP

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goin_south says on Dec 14, 2007, 18:22:

hey 007Jay, what's up with pickn on de ducks??

A Cameo Appearance tonight? from none-other-than... GOMEZMAN5....

Vic, yer the problem,,,,,
I mean, VIC, YOU'RE RIGHT!
She's the problem... get a new freakn gf... THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! and, let the rest run off yer back...

For now... it sounds like 'choice betw life and death'... yours or his... Mike.

Hey, man... WWRD?
(What Would Rubio Do?)
I'm a bit surprised this thread hasn't brought Rubito out of hiding...
he'd have whipped his ass a thousand times by now... and, probably hers, too.

..jus pickn,... vic :)

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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wendell13 says on Dec 14, 2007, 18:53:

Ah. you gotta like these internet Rambos

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Enrique187 says on Dec 14, 2007, 19:12:

its unfortunate, but drugs and mafia pervade colombia. i love colombia more than anything, but it has shitloads of narcos. if your chick is answering to a guy that violent, chances are hes a narco and will do bad things. prepagos ive had many runins with dipshit "narco" boyfriends. all you can do is just back off. plus, there are so many beautiful "down to earth"girls in colombia that u should just kick to the curb any that gives you problems. seriously, this isnt the USA. colombians dont fuck around and are hotheaded. it is not worth it. stay away.

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 19:43:

Yup, well, the girls in Colombia are very disposable. Get rid of them because obviously it's not the nutjob's fault, it's her fault. They're nothing but prepago whores. Let's not blame machismo, let's blame the shitty colombian novias.

Anyway, as I have said, and will say again, you know her way better than anyone else here, so you, not us, should be the judge of her, anything else would be completely disingenuous.

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nine inch nails says on Dec 14, 2007, 20:19:

msherry,

Again please sir did he merely have the gun drawn or was it pointed at you? If pointed at you I would be concerned for my life (ten mucho cuidado).

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goin_south says on Dec 14, 2007, 20:23:

Sounds good 2 me 2.
Damn... are you a couselor-psychologist person?
You should get paid for that

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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christobeldawg says on Dec 14, 2007, 20:44:

soundsgood, whoever he is, soundsgood. what a mess. sounds not so good that you attracted this, but that you have done. I think, know that first, and then decide what to do about yourself, the girl, the living there, etc.. Good luck.

traveling hopefully is always better than arriving

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nine inch nails says on Dec 14, 2007, 20:46:

GIB and MIR I like your advices. Really think the novia here is the problem. The Psycho would not be calling her if she didn't invite it.

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manINred says on Dec 14, 2007, 21:03:

"GIB and MIR I like your advices. Really think the novia here is the problem. The Psycho would not be calling her if she didn't invite it."

Thank you nine inch nails.

to clarify:

I agree with GIB to a large extent, however our opinions differ when it comes to the girl. I don't know why people are so harsh to jump on the girl's case, and my stance is that while mr.sherry should question the girlfriend as to why he was calling her in the first place, it is not black and white, and it is preposterous to jump on her case just by making assumptions, let alone blame her for this scumbag's actions, which is completely disingenuous. Mr.Sherry knows these facts a lot better than we do. He has been with her a certain amount of time, and if he trusts her and has an open and honest and loving relationship with her, one that has spanned a considerable amount of time, well, to lay the blame on her would be a very bold and perhaps wrong thing to do. He has to judge this, we cannot, unless he lays his personal life out on the line, which he's probably not willing to do.

Unfortunately men in Colombia (and quite frankly all around the world) call girls and harrass them whether they invite it or not. I know this for a fact, since some of my best friends have had this problem in Canada, England and Colombia, including my exnovia in Medellin. I was dancing with her in a club, went to get some drinks, and some moron started dancing beside her, she told him to leave, but he kept dancing with us, even when i returned, and we just left to another part. Did she invite it? No. Her male friends have occasionally started wanting more to do with her, as have some of her colleagues, one way or another some of them try, they call, they persist, despite adament "NOs". Not all, but some. It is unfortunate. One guy who she thought was her friend approached me and told me lies about some dude who was trying to get with her. Guess what, that dude was her brother, but he didn't know that so his lie backfired!!! So i knew he was just trying to cause a rift between me and her. She never talked to him again when i told her that. Had I told him outright to back off and he was the wrong person, he may have gone apeshit and killed me, like happened to poor mr.sherry. But then again, I never was never confrontational, just firm, I know my limits in Colombia, and won't stretch them.

Hell if i were to post a story of my girlfriend on this site, I would get the same advice, even though it is wrong (the part about automatically accusing her). It is not her fault that guys will obsess about her uninvited, even if they get her phone number or trust as friend one way or another. Hell, even I had annoying girls persist me, much to the chagrin of my exnovia. She would get annoyed, but at them, not at me.

Anyway, that's just my personal experience. I find it frustrating and sort of sexist to point all the fingers at the novia straight away, that's one huge conclusion for us to jump to. I know for a fact that these situations are not black and white, and she may very well be innocent, we don't know, so we cannot say conclusively. In fact to assume she's guilty and she brought this on all herself is questionable to say the least, and really highlights the mentality that we have about Colombian women, a mentality which applied to certain people like the women in Colombia that I'm close to is actually a bit offensive and demeaning. Perhaps this is the reason there is less female participation on this site.

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jay007 says on Dec 14, 2007, 22:11:

dont bad mouth the alleged "narcos" e187 they throw the best partys. gringoinbogota your statment was the best..good job...well put..man ive seen it to many times...some dudes get pussy whipped and feed into all those games or are just so blind by "love" that they get fucked over and over again..WHATEVER..hey sorry i offended you my duck friend....O as for the dude that said something about
'internet rambos" theres a whole other world people are living that you think only happens in the movies.....

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Robert Jorge says on Dec 14, 2007, 22:19:

Good point mIr. From what I have seen, Colombianos (generally speaking - not all) and even dare I say Latinos, have no respect for a relationship or a marriage if they see something they desire. It happens of course in Gringolandia too, but it seemed common, almost normal in Colombia. My now wife got flirtatious Emails from a former supervisor. She got an occasional call from a friend who wanted to be more than a friend. Both those guys were well aware she was with me. But that didn't matter. I actually ended up just talking to them over an instant messenger, and it seemed to subside almost instantly. So I am not quick to assume either, that the girl is necessarily to blame. Only the O.P. knows what is going on. But he obviously should be alert and aware of what "may" be happening. She very well could be inviting the contact - or she could also be totally innocent of any ill-intentions and a victim also. Again, it is up to the O.P. to decide and investigate.

"You can not take the barrio out of the girl you really can't." Oneforamillion

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travelingirl says on Dec 14, 2007, 23:14:

I agree, RJ. I'm not being stereotypical at all b/c similar things have happened to me in other countries as well... but I did have married men hit on me in Colombia. Much more often than in the States. Plus, at first I had no idea that Catholics wear their wedding bands on their right ring finger instead of left hand there. So for the first few days that I was in Colombia I was wearing a wide silver band on my right ring finger, but this didn't stop men from making advances. Sometimes their wives would be in the same room. Was I just around the exception to the rule or is this common?

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coffee beaner says on Dec 15, 2007, 00:43:

You don't see much gringas in Colombia, so men are curious about it. Usually Colombian guys don't care regardless.... I think a Colombiano with a gringa would be like a trophy girlfriend for most Colombianos that have never left Colombia.

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Miguel says on Dec 15, 2007, 01:24:

Pay what you have to pay and he will go away. ¡Punto! That is the beauty of Locolombia.

"There is nothing lower than the human race...except for the French." - Mark Twain 1878-79

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ellbee2 says on Dec 15, 2007, 04:55:

This bulls==t is exactly why I am leaving Colombia on Monday!! WHOOO HOOOO! I'll take a little US Government intrusion in my life any day , over my own personal safety and not being able to call out a guy who is disrepecting me with out the fear or some cowardly whack job!

Colombia is beautiful; and for the most part I have enjoyed my 8 months here, but I refuse to live my life in fear everyday and be expected to "hold my tounge" when someone is disrepecting me or someone I care about.

I'm really tired of the lame, it will never change excuse....." I'ts Colombia!"

Color me GONE folks....I'm looking forward to walking in my neighborhood at 3:00 AM if I so choose.

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going because you might not get there." Yogi Berra

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Medellin Traveler says on Dec 15, 2007, 05:38:

"And then there is winter." - tomtom33

Chicago winters being the worst!

Discover Medellin, Antioquia - Colombia www.medellintraveler.com

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aztec says on Dec 15, 2007, 06:38:

The girlfriend is the real culprit. No woman needs to put up with continuing and unrelenting unwanted advances and most self respecting woman won't! That is true in Colombia and any other Country in the Western Hemisphere.

I suspect she knows more about the man than she lets on. Perhaps she was afraid of him but if that is the case she should have informed her gringo.

I am again in agreement with GIB. A gringo had better have an escape plan when living in Colombia.

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Chelesupercono says on Dec 15, 2007, 06:44:

Dude....dump the Chica and read below:

never go to bed with someone crazier then you are, you will do it and you will regret it.......

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msherry says on Dec 15, 2007, 08:26:

Thanks guys!

Most of what was written here was helpful, and ultimately I am in the situation....and it is being resolved.

My thanks to all of you that took out a moment to give the situation some of your attention and feedback.

regards,

mike

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john_stark says on Dec 15, 2007, 08:32:

I had to laugh reading this comment, "Although what some of you guys said seems to be a bit harsh...". Harsh? Let's examine my wife's situation. Father killed. Husband killed. Two brothers-in-law killed. It's a harsh place dude.

Your gf could have handled this as the posters above indicated but she didn't. Now what are you going to do about it?

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gatogris says on Dec 15, 2007, 09:57:

Some people who live in places or situations understood as dangerous have an intense, almost erotically charged relationship with the edge of fear that comes with this danger - it quickens the blood and heightens the senses. It makes them feel "jazzed," more alive, even sexually arroused by the threat of violence. These people can become overly identified with this experience, feel an "itch" like an addiction to stay in it, "love it and hate it" like one would a beautiful women who is a betrayer. In fact, all these discrete issues can become kind of confused, sex, danger, violence, love, beauty, betrayal - particularly in the minds of those who have evolved a sort of pseudo-philosophy of life around the presence of danger.

On the other hand, all this is psychobabble, a tale told by an idiot, in the face of actual violence. Which for most of us is not glamorous, not sexy, but nasty, brutal and short. Senseless, ugly, and most of all, just pathetic. If fantasies of revenge and betrayal start to eat into your reality, I would check yourself before the wreck - you are on your way to acquiring some sociopathic tendencies. No fun for anyone.

Other than doing nothing or pulling the plug, of all the pragmatic advice offered in this thread, I think Morrongo's is the best. If you want to stay in Medillin and do something proactive, find out who and what you are dealing with. Information, after all, has always been the most powerful weapon of all, at least in part because it doesn't have to be used.

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Enrique187 says on Dec 15, 2007, 10:58:

like three six mafia says "dont save her, she dont wanna be saved"

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Portena says on Dec 15, 2007, 12:04:

Excellent commentary, Gatogris.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks ~ Mark Twain

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droble77 says on Dec 15, 2007, 12:54:

Wow, missed a good thread here, yesterday afternoon was so crazy at work.

My two cents:

1) ONLY YOU can determine to what extent you can trust your girlfriend given your history with her and her current and past behavior. LISTEN to your gut feelings on this.

Maybe she's not as bad as GIB suggests, maybe she's only flaky, but look at the results anyway!

For example, you tell us your attacker helped your girl's dad with his computer problems. Was this a house visit? Are you sure this guy hasn't already worked on your girl's "software" if you know what I mean?

I think it's time for you to consider if this relationship is worth keeping any longer. Unless, she's your wife and mother of your children, NO WOMAN IS WORTH THIS TROUBLE!! Especially in Colombia. You know the joke there, the female-to-male ratio is like 7:1. :-)

Yes, you've lived there for 3 years, but it would be wise to still consider yourself a "guest" and act accordingly. If I was living there and had a hot looking colombiana gf, I wouldn't consider myself her owner, she's just out "on loan" to me for awhile. If it wasn't the case of the typical flirtation that all Colombian men do all the time with the hotties, if some guy really wanted to have her, I am NOT going to get worked up about a girl I can replace within the week at most!! :0)


2) You screwed up big time when you confronted this guy. And having lived there for 3 years, you don't have much of an excuse. How can you possibly "set a line in the sand" with a guy YOU KNEW NOTHING ABOUT without having consulted your friends??

Surely, you could have vetted your strategy with some trusted locals who can advise you on the matter and DOUBLE CHECK your gf's story.

Or at least ask around here on this forum BEFORE you got in his face. Now it's a bit too late. Even if you did dump her today, there's no way at this point to ensure this guy will stay out of your life.


Did your girlfriend push you to confront him? You didn't make that clear in your initial report. If that's the case, that's a MAJOR sign you need to leave this girl IMMEDIATELY, not to mention get out of Dodge for the next 6 months.


I'm not sure if threatening this guy through "back channels" or even just "getting rid of him" is going to give closure. Remember, in Colombia, two can play that game, especially if he's connected. There's always the risk of "payback" to you. . . and even to your girlfriend AND HER FAMILY assuming you still care about her at this point.

I know the answer for me but again, IS SHE WORTH THAT KIND OF TROUBLE??

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droble77 says on Dec 15, 2007, 13:33:

"I got wind of this, and I made it very clear to him, TO HIS FACE at the gym that he needed to stop this, and that I wouldn't put up with it."

Again, just wanted to add, BIG BIG MISTAKE here. You made a private matter public and then he took it to the next level. Hate to pick on you, because I suppose you've gone through hell the past 24-48 hours, but you are digging your own grave on this one. This is definitely NOT the way to handle things in Colombia. Unless both sides are drunk, ugly public confrontations in Colombia can sometimes mean someone dies in the end.

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Lowell says on Dec 15, 2007, 14:43:

the only thing that might help is that he's a gringo and maybe the perp is smart enough to know that if he wacks a gringo, it will be big news and an attention getter.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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droble77 says on Dec 15, 2007, 15:31:

True, I was gonna mention that too. If this guys "wacks" msherry directly, he's bound to get killed by the police or an affiliate of the police sooner or later.

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lpdiver says on Dec 15, 2007, 15:40:

If he intended to "whack" the dude...he would already be dead. Now it could escalate depending on further actions or die down.

t

Remember what the monkey says, "Fuck money it's free"

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nine inch nails says on Dec 15, 2007, 20:47:

Agree with JS.........

And not a unique to Colombia thing. Many Gringas in U.S. jus the same or worse.

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christobeldawg says on Dec 15, 2007, 21:15:

don't have him killed, that will only get you involved in a chain of violence that may never end.

traveling hopefully is always better than arriving

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panthdave says on Dec 16, 2007, 08:53:

NO COMMENT>>>>>>

panthdave Miami

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droble77 says on Dec 16, 2007, 08:55:

Actually, I just thought of something that will probably work better than GIB's nuclear option although I'll probably get flamed for saying this. . . :0))

See if you can get your girl to f*** this guy's brains out, she can approach him with some bs story about how the two of you got into this big fight and it's all over between her and you. That way you potentially kill two birds with one stone: you get to see what kind of girl you're really dealing with, and if this guy is still mad at you, well, this might be enough to boost his little ego and make him forget about you. In any case, start looking for another girl. I thought the whole point of being an ex-pat is to SIMPLIFY your life, look at the mess you're in now. . .

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miamimike says on Dec 16, 2007, 09:12:

GIB says: "From gossip to the more dangerous stuff, people do not confront people here like in the states"-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------GIB ---Agreed, esp on the Gossip!

Poem on Gossip:


"WHO AM I?

I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted the more I am believed.
I flourish at every level of society.
My victims are helpless; they cannot protect
themselves against me because I have no name and no face.
To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody's friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and ruin marriages.
I end ministries set up by God.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion.
I spawn suspicion and generate grief.
I make headlines, headaches and heartaches
I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
Even my name hisses.

---Author unknown

No hay Peor Ciego que el que no quiere Ver o Sordo que el que no quiera Oir--Soy Yo, Sarah Palin, Wasilla Alaska.

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Lowell says on Dec 16, 2007, 09:20:

The dude made a very huge mistake. The best thing to do is move to another city and absorb the cost. There's not that many gringos in his town. Some will always know where he is. The hit, if it does happen, can very easily be made to look like an accident. 2 locals bad boys in my town were wacked last week. Even they couldn't hide.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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KD says on Dec 16, 2007, 09:59:

It sounds like your GIRL FRIEND is Part of the PROBLEM….

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Dec 16, 2007, 14:34:

Morrongo says on Dec 16, 2007, 17:28:

Car1..i think you miss read my post.It would cost about 200,000cop to get the necessary information ,who you were dealing with.I certainly would never dicuss the price of a hit.
as an add on..if the poster wanted to find out if his GF was phoning this guy, for piece of mind (if she has a postpago).cost 70,000 per months statements or there abouts...these are just normal type of contacts which are handy,when you want information on somebody.

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webmanco says on Dec 16, 2007, 17:29:

I do agree with droble77 on Henrys first mistake

"TO HIS FACE at the gym that he needed to stop this, and that I wouldn't put up with it."

Second mistake to vent things here. But I do have to say that you are taking the right actions, sometimes people living in Colomia three years got more comun sense than people living here longer.

Medellìn is different than Bogotà, so what works here don`t always work in Medellìn, plus as mention above all women are different and situations too. Now don`t you guys take as written in stone many of the comments here. Not all bad guys are that stupy and will advice or cheer the attacker for his "stupid" move, as a matter of fact I believe most of his "asociates" advice him not to make things worse.

And don`t you believe also that "all" Colombians do attack from Behind or shoot from behind "Texas style".

Don`t take all threats as seriously, just revise your environment and upon the guys background, you might decide that it is not worth leaving Medellìn but maybe changin neighborhood. Do confront your girfriend as ask her how she stands for the attacker, base on her "sincerity" you migh take the decision if she is worth or not.

I guess Hollywood and the machoman talking here makes Colombia look more dangerous than in reality it is.

No hay extremo cierto o verdadero, porque los extremos opacan, enruedan, (lavan cerebros) verdades. Yotas

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jay007 says on Dec 16, 2007, 18:07:

morphus..i agree with your last statment....GIB very well put,i appreciate the Moses refrence, ...just remember fools hate knowledge...lets end this discussion...we'll see what happens

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goin_south says on Dec 16, 2007, 19:31:

jeez... I'd just recruit morphus, jay007, and Simon and go whip his ass and all his
... tios 2
y sus primos, tambien!

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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gatogris says on Dec 16, 2007, 19:55:

Heaven and earth,
Must I remember? Why, she would hang on him
As if increase of appetite had grown
By what it fed on, and yet, within a month—
Let me not think on't—Frailty, thy name is woman!—

Or maybe there is another possibility here...

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christobeldawg says on Dec 16, 2007, 19:58:

jealousy has been around forever, will be around forever, and violence often results. some things never change.

traveling hopefully is always better than arriving

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manINred says on Dec 16, 2007, 20:03:

m

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goin_south says on Dec 16, 2007, 20:44:

then find the col who did the deed, ... and ship 'm to Montreal. He'll never forget it, or maybe he will...when his brain finally thaws

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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manINred says on Dec 16, 2007, 21:44:

f

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goin_south says on Dec 17, 2007, 00:17:

I think msherry might ought to listen to car1.
...and, get the hell outta dodge.

Or, maybe should consult rubio, 1st.
"Death is the Price of.... FREEEEEEDOMMMMMMMM!"
Si? Rubito?

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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Lowell says on Dec 17, 2007, 07:23:

Just arrived from the States for Xmas? Everyone is going to think "Fat Cats" ripe for the picking. Just a possibility. I've had metal doors on all my places. Even on the 7th floor of a secure apt in Panama. Sitting ducks?

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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Bam Bam says on Dec 17, 2007, 14:42:

I wonder where Msherry went

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Bam Bam says on Dec 17, 2007, 14:43:

hopefully not to visit the man with the beard upstairs

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paisa29 says on Dec 17, 2007, 15:14:

La mayoría de hombres que vienen aquí buscando mujeres "BONITAS" esperan tambien que ellas sean perfectas o al menos unas santas.

"Fill the earth with the light and warmth of hospitality" Conrad Hilton

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dwr says on Dec 17, 2007, 17:16:

Mike, I gotta go with gringoinbogota. You gotta ditch the chick. If she is talking to the guy on the phone and bringing him home to "fix dad's computer", she is up to much more. You basically thought you were calling a bluff confronting the guy and ran into a pair of aces.

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vicshere says on Dec 17, 2007, 18:02:

pair of aces....you mean a one eyed jack

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Jebediah says on Dec 17, 2007, 18:13:

ManInRed - I think the reason that the guys didnt hassle you, was because you are a machine, anyone who met you in real life would be scared, that obviously radiates when u are walking down the street :)

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Bam Bam says on Dec 17, 2007, 18:25:

I got a one eyed jack for ya

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vicshere says on Dec 17, 2007, 18:30:

gad that's disgusting and nasty...there should be a law...or a least a monkey rule

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manINred says on Dec 17, 2007, 18:51:

ha

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goin_south says on Dec 18, 2007, 00:23:

One Last thing, msherry. You're in Colombia, dude:




'nuff said! jajj

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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paisa29 says on Dec 18, 2007, 04:38:

msherry... I have the same question than others.... Why your girlfriend allowed those kind of advances to this guy?

"Fill the earth with the light and warmth of hospitality" Conrad Hilton

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john_stark says on Dec 18, 2007, 06:15:

You are so right, GIB! Truer words were never written on this board. There wasn't a Colombiano alive that my wife couldn't handle and believe me, every attractive Colombiana has to deal with this.

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manINred says on Dec 18, 2007, 06:24:

"every attractive Colombiana has to deal with this"

Not every colombiano or man for that matter approaches the situation as passively (or not) as others. Not every colombiana (or woman) knows how to deal with it. Some men when put in their place punch women, have them deal with that. this guy obviously has no reservations on using physical violence

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manINred says on Dec 18, 2007, 06:25:

trust me, i've seen and heard of this on several occasions, to my horror

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manINred says on Dec 18, 2007, 06:29:

they should just date millonarios players:

A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?"
"Because he beats me" said the little boy.
"Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge.
Because she beats me aswell.
"Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?"
The little boy replied" I would like to live with Millonarios, because they don't beat anyone!!"

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manINred says on Dec 18, 2007, 06:39:

"Then you have the bastard put in a hole in the ground and there will be no retaliation what so ever"

If only it worked out that way. but isn't our advice to this dude that he should leave since the guy's possibly a mafioso making unwanted advances on the girl? What if the girl is single? It always matter who it is in Medellin, which is why people turn a blind eye to violence

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msherry says on Dec 18, 2007, 16:28:

Update!!

Just got word that the low-life that jumped me from behind has been coming by the gym recently (apparently the gym was harder to replace than he thought?)...BEGGING and acting like a little kid to be allowed back in there. He was summarilly denied. They said he was acting really sheepish, little kid like.....etc etc.

Apparently he needs to call me and beg for my forgiveness for his actions? WTF? Like I am going to forgive a scum bag for how he lives his life? He's lucky he still is alive.... I have people just waiting for my word to take further action.....its nice being connected.

What do you guys think of this? If this guy comes crawling on hands and knees begging forgiveness? I have NEVER encountered anything like this....who knows if his pride will even allow him to do this....but I think the consequences are now catching up with him.....
What a strange turn of events..... it just seems to me that this really is a weak person....who in a moment of desperation made a decision that he is JUST now realizing the long-lasting consequences of.

Wow....interesting turn of events....just thought I would keep you all posted.

Also, did homework....this person is NOT connected to mafia....he has had a rough life....mom died young....girl he was going to marry left him stranded at the altar or before....perhaps he has just had a rough past, leading him to do desperate things when things dont go his way....of course, this is all my speculation!

Thanks guys....I'm doing a lot better!

best

mike

Also, I have standing offers from some power-players/connected people to not only have any chance of a visa taken away from him for life, but also have him "taken care of" should it come to that.

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aztec says on Dec 18, 2007, 17:13:

Be magnanimous!

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msherry says on Dec 18, 2007, 17:31:

Yes, kick his teeth in...

Snakes like this....they walk the earth....and they get theirs, sooner or later.

Its not even balls....its like.....how can someone be that devious, who THINKS like that?

He's not getting anything from me- Hes been reported...denuncia, AND to the embassy. He's never getting a visa....he's not back in that gym....he's done.

Thanks brothers!

mike

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goin_south says on Dec 18, 2007, 17:48:

What thoughts?
I guess jus about half of everyone here is left with some sort or bit of egg in de face, eh?

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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vicshere says on Dec 18, 2007, 18:13:

if he wants to meet to apologize be very careful man ...this time he will kill you..just my thoughts...if some one fucked me up like that he sure wouldn't get a second chance on me...the problem is he's got a gun and you know it....dump the real problem the GF

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manINred says on Dec 18, 2007, 18:28:

while a coward he definitely is, don't be complacent though, sounds like he has nothing to lose, so if given the chance who's to say he wouldn't wait for you behind a back alley with his gun? Nar, hopefully all is well now, glad to hear it :)

"But these guys have sisters and mothers and if they can imagine their sister getting punched for rebuffing a sexual advance then there will be line of trigger men for that asshole. Beleive me anyone that did this would have it coming, No one would say a thing."

I agree to an extent, and I wish it was like that, but some girls (and guys for that matter) have no-one they can turn to. Some people in Medellin just simply aren't connected enough to be able to find someone else to 'pop a cap' (excuse the ghetto euphanism ;)) and I've seen that, a sad state of affairs, but you're right, generally it certainly isn't tolerated, but back in the 90s people were a lot more afraid, better now, but many still keep a low profile about those sorts of things, horrifyingly enough.

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vicshere says on Dec 18, 2007, 18:33:

forgot::

Also, I have standing offers from some power-players/connected people to not only have any chance of a visa taken away from him for life, but also have him "taken care of" should it come to that.

man if your ready to take this guy over a girl ...you better give you head a shake...time to change countries

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christobeldawg says on Dec 18, 2007, 22:30:

losing his gym membership? I don't think that will resolve things. I hope he does just do away, but your rationale in your last comment did not lead me to believe that you had this all fgured out.

traveling hopefully is always better than arriving

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goin_south says on Dec 18, 2007, 22:50:

msherry believes he's got it all figured out, now.
So,... what's the buzzz? por que?

If MSherry weren't a member of long standing... I'd believe he was a RE-INCARNATION OF POW-WOW....

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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msherry says on Dec 18, 2007, 23:02:

"As a man, he got the last laugh, stitches in the back of your head and all. Damn the gym membership, the girl, and the visa. That shit is all irrelevant. He probably will even end up with the girl after all of this."

Last laugh, eh?

we'll see about that-

mike

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christobeldawg says on Dec 18, 2007, 23:04:

uhoh, you guys are creating a monster. I just hope our new friend msherry lives, seriously.

traveling hopefully is always better than arriving

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goin_south says on Dec 18, 2007, 23:30:

oh-oh!
Has he - MdV - come around baseline on us?
jjaj

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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msherry says on Dec 18, 2007, 23:39:

ok-

Thanks guys. I think I'm done posting here!

No need to get flamed uselessly from here on out.

I found another girl, ditched the other one, and am taking care of myself....putting this behind me.

To those that helped...thanks. To those that just wanted to ruffle feathers....thanks for nothing. ;-)

peace

mike

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goin_south says on Dec 18, 2007, 23:41:

Now,... I can rest ;-)

Good twist, mike.
Now,... photos de su mujer nuevamente acqui, por nuestras commentario... por favor .. jejj... Hey,..... pbh is .. FULL OF IT.

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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christobeldawg says on Dec 18, 2007, 23:45:

limited info here given, for a lot of thought from others. shame. if there was anything to this story, I just hope that you live. if not, thanks for provoking an interesting weeklong discussion on this type of thing.

traveling hopefully is always better than arriving

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kalder says on Dec 19, 2007, 00:52:

A day late, but I had to say I much agree with ManINred's:

"Not every colombiana (or woman) knows how to deal with it. Some men when put in their place punch women"

The idea that all Colombianas are feisty, proud spitfires with knockout putdowns is a rather silly stereotype. For sure, that type of woman exists (here as well as there) but there's all other types as well, including the truly vulnerable.

"A piece of cheese may entrap a mouse, but a bicycle could ensnare the Imperial Chancellor."~~An Bai Kuang

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john_stark says on Dec 19, 2007, 05:31:

"The idea that all Colombianas are feisty, proud spitfires with knockout putdowns is a rather silly stereotype. For sure, that type of woman exists (here as well as there) but there's all other types as well, including the truly vulnerable."

They are not all feisty, proud spitfires but every Colombiana has their own way of handling guys like this. Otherwise it would be impossible for them to live there. An attractive Colombiana is hit on constantly by all kinds of guys and grows up learning how to deal with it in her own way.

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webmanco says on Dec 19, 2007, 08:22:

Happy holidays to all the macho men :-) with all and BS included.

There is not only one way to fix problems neither there is a best way.

No hay extremo cierto o verdadero, porque los extremos opacan, enruedan, (lavan cerebros) verdades. Yotas

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kalder says on Dec 19, 2007, 08:57:

A fair point John. Back in the day, my future wife-to-be was courted by a very powerful and very bad man. Her father had to keep her under virtual house arrest until her suitor's ardour abated. An extreme measure, but a successful enough strategy.

"A piece of cheese may entrap a mouse, but a bicycle could ensnare the Imperial Chancellor."~~An Bai Kuang

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kalder says on Dec 19, 2007, 08:57:

A fair point John. Back in the day, my future wife-to-be was courted by a very powerful and very bad man. Her father had to keep her under virtual house arrest until her suitor's ardour abated. An extreme measure, but a successful enough strategy.

"A piece of cheese may entrap a mouse, but a bicycle could ensnare the Imperial Chancellor."~~An Bai Kuang

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jay007 says on Dec 23, 2007, 21:45:

GIB AND MORPUS I LIKE WHAT YALL HAVE TO SAY AND I REALLY FEEL YALL. IM GLAD I GREW UP IN THE AREA I DID AND IM GLAD CERTAIN PEOPLE TOOK ME UNDER THERE WING. MSSHERRY FOR SOME REASON IM STARTING TO REALLY HOPE THAT YOULL BE OK YOUR A FELLOW HUMAN AND YOU DESERVE TO LIVE A LIFE FREE FROM PAIN AND WICKEDNESS. BUT LISTEN..STAY WITHIN YOU ELEMENT. ..FEEL ME.SOME OF US ARE FROM DIFFRENT WALKS OF LIFE,OR ARE JUST MASTERMINDS IN OUR OWN WAY..SO WE CAN DO CERTAIN THINGS AND KNOW HOW TO DO THEM,CAUSE WEVE DONE THEM AND HAVE BEEN INVOLVED AND AMONGEST OTHER PEOPLE THAT ARE DOING OR HAVE DONE THESE TYPES OF THINGS BEFORE..AND WEVE LIVED WITHIN THIS ELEMENT FOR DECADES...JUST BE YOU

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christobeldawg says on Dec 23, 2007, 21:54:

PLEASE NO MORE ALLCAPS. GRACIAS

traveling hopefully is always better than arriving

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goin_south says on Dec 24, 2007, 00:40:

WELL... IF ALL CAPS, AT LEAST USE ... T R I P L E .... SPACING AND

DOUBLE ,.... DOUBLE... WTF DO THEY CALL THAT? SKIP A LINE HERE AND THERE.

MAKE IT EASY ON THESE OLD EYES ;-)

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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christobeldawg says on Dec 24, 2007, 00:55:

if nothing else go for all small caps.

traveling hopefully is always better than arriving

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goin_south says on Dec 24, 2007, 01:15:

aye, aye... cap-tain

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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pedro (☼Travelguide writer) says on Dec 25, 2007, 08:33:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutual_assured_destruction

"this may seem a strange post but it is not...when in colombia men need to be aware that colombia women may try to be seductive and entice a travelling gringo to have sex with them..to be forewarned is to be forearmed..." -- pow wow

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pedro (☼Travelguide writer) says on Dec 25, 2007, 09:06:

slguy says on Dec 25, 2007, 13:21:

I don't think anyone's mentioned this yet- but a good start in not sounding like a gringo pendejo would be losing "yikes" from your vocabulary. jajajajjajajaa

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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pedro (☼Travelguide writer) says on Dec 25, 2007, 15:46:

goin_south says on Dec 25, 2007, 16:01:

Gib.. where is the end of that cycle?
Never?

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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jay007 says on Dec 25, 2007, 21:36:

sorry for the all caps.

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goin_south says on Dec 25, 2007, 21:48:

New Jork Jankee Caps on the other hand... are quite popular

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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aztec says on Dec 26, 2007, 06:13:

Believe there is a TV show here called Cheaters. Vivid video ot the persons signigicant other "making out"!

Might be a better business than you realize if there are enough gringo's interested. Also the macho thing with Colombiano's certainly would create an active feed.

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Chelesupercono says on Dec 26, 2007, 07:31:

GIB...great idea, but as you know in Colombia there are no liars or cheaters...... la novela nada mas...and I might add no truth

never go to bed with someone crazier then you are, you will do it and you will regret it.......

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goin_south says on Dec 26, 2007, 12:43:

sounds like a thriving business, GIB! Private Eye... Now, that will be a new moniker.... GIBPE.



AND...... since.....
"I am very tired of it and don't date much anymore.".... I am asking for donations from the PBH community for purchase of one of UtopiaCowboy's Blow-up Rollas for belated Christmas Gift. We didn't know you were depriving yourself like that; don't want a brethren sufferin

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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paisa29 says on Dec 27, 2007, 10:03:

Pedro is right... when my ex-boyfriend (Irish) came to visit me I had more guys asking me for going out with them.

"Fill the earth with the light and warmth of hospitality" Conrad Hilton

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paisa29 says on Dec 27, 2007, 11:23:

elmo... that is not exclusive of Colombianos... it sounds as Morphus to me as well.

"Fill the earth with the light and warmth of hospitality" Conrad Hilton

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paisa29 says on Dec 27, 2007, 11:35:

Morp...I mean the kind of beauty people can´t see at first sight.

"Fill the earth with the light and warmth of hospitality" Conrad Hilton

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paisa29 says on Dec 27, 2007, 11:38:

El irlandes tambien consiguió muchas miradas e invitaciones de las chicas paisas, pero a diferencia de lo que ustedes piensan de nosotras, él fue el único que aceptó una de esas invitaciones.

"Fill the earth with the light and warmth of hospitality" Conrad Hilton

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nueva york bombero says on Dec 27, 2007, 11:55:

Irish? Ever hear of shrinkage? I'M IRISH!!!lol

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Cerealkiller says on Dec 27, 2007, 12:16:

I don't think all colombianas are like that. Not even most... But i can see why a young gorgeous woman wouldn't wait home for her gringo. Im my personal case, I went out, had fun, got drunkies...but never ever cheated on bf while I was in Colombia and he was in London, and we had a long distance relationship for over a year. I dont think Im butt ugly either by the way...perhaps not the most mamacita ever but hey to most guys anything with boobs and a pulse is fair game.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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paisa29 says on Dec 27, 2007, 12:30:

Sorry... morphus I won´t say anything about Irish Guys.

"Fill the earth with the light and warmth of hospitality" Conrad Hilton

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tejasmarcos says on Dec 27, 2007, 12:53:

hilarious read. you new york dudes are a trip and seem to see past all the BS.

the rest of us suckers get inticed by the sweetness of these chics who have alterior or "less than noble" causes. $5000 later we are wondering wtf? i'm personally so damn happy just to hang out with women who act like women, i am more than happy to get stuck like the bobo gringo - NOT YOU GUYS!

i've gotta start changing my ways, get this chit figured out and reverse the roles on these chicas dulces!!!!!

trying to walk a straight line on sour mash and cheap wine...

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tejasmarcos says on Dec 28, 2007, 07:10:

tl24, gib - well put.........


by the way - this thread has to be a candidate for the longest post in pbh history. i cannot think of any other longer threads.

trying to walk a straight line on sour mash and cheap wine...

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slguy says on Dec 28, 2007, 08:53:

elmo's ass shaving incident passed 500, I think. I don't wanna speculate on what that says about PBH....jajajajjajaj

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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pedro (☼Travelguide writer) says on Dec 28, 2007, 09:03:

Knocking on the door of the top 10: http://poorbuthappy.com/colombia/mostcomments/

SL is correct, there's a monster thread or two over on the off-topic section. That section is more of an IM chat room style than here.

"this may seem a strange post but it is not...when in colombia men need to be aware that colombia women may try to be seductive and entice a travelling gringo to have sex with them..to be forewarned is to be forearmed..." -- pow wow

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mark1 says on Jan 5, 2008, 21:03:

LISTEN TO GRINGOINBOGOTA. HE IS CORRECT. DUMP HER, GET OUT FOR A WHILE. NOW! WAKE UP. IT ONLY COSTS 200,000 PESOS FOR HIM TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE KILL YOU WHILE HE HAS AN ALIBY. HIS PRIDE IS HURT, HE LIKES YOUR GIRL(WHO WAS FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM), YOU ARE IN HIS WAY, IN ADDITION TO HIS PRIDE BEING HURT! TAKE A FEW MONTH VACATION AND LET THE GIRL GO. IF SHE REALLY DID LOVE YOU SHE WILL BE THERE IN THE FUTURE. GO NOW. COME BACK IN A FEW MONTHS AND START OVER. REMEMBER, YOU ARE IN COLOMBIA, JUSTICE IS DONE IN THE STREETS. FOR THIS GUY TO HAVE THAT BIG OF BALLS TO PULL A GUN AND ALSO ASSAULT YOU IN A PUBLC GYM HAS TO TELL YOU MANY THINGS. LEAVE FOR A WHILE, NOW! "HE WHO FIGHTS AND RUNS AWAY MAY LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY" GOOD LUCK.

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MitchAlvarez says on Jan 6, 2008, 03:10:

trate de lee pero no puedo wow sirvame otro guarito papa lol

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rhydewithdis (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jul 12, 2008, 19:42:

msherry says on Apr 27, 2009, 07:56:

I am alive and thriving.

All is well in my world, many new women have come and gone....

Thanks for the concern.

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msherry says on Apr 27, 2009, 08:09:

P.S.

I had the guy killed.

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msherry says on Apr 27, 2009, 09:43:

determining factor, Jeff?

Karmic justice....the way things get done. Who knew my life would take this dark turn, but it is what it is...and I have prevailed.

Do I feel bad about it? Ha! Not at all, my friend...not at all. PM me if you want to know how much I paid, and how long it took...I even got pictures of the confirmed "done deed" if you know what I mean....what a smile that brought to my young face.

I guess my time in Colombia has caused me to become a bit sociopathic...I'm enjoying the trip...care to join me?

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mranderson says on Apr 27, 2009, 10:48:

It´s always nice to get an update to a post....

Even if you were joking, If it were me I don´t think I would write about having someone killed on the internet as I believe that is a crime.

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msherry says on Apr 27, 2009, 12:18:

MrAnderson...

You're next.

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pedro (☼Travelguide writer) says on Apr 27, 2009, 12:59:

Miguel_Clavo says on Apr 27, 2009, 13:03:

Are You Rubito?

RVW orderded me to remove my tagline congratulating the PBH Mods New Golden Boys. Lame.

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msherry says on Apr 27, 2009, 13:46:

I am a man who has gotten satisfaction in the most final way possible.

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Cheers Terry says on Apr 27, 2009, 14:20:

You made him blow you?

Cheers,
Terry

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msherry says on Apr 27, 2009, 15:09:

lets end this.

I ended it, Ive moved on.

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bickerss says on Apr 27, 2009, 17:10:

Must be a Medellin thing - was at the gym tonight and some crazy guy was yelling stuff in english about americans. Guessing as I was the only gringo-ish looking person there, it was directed at me. He then walked to me and away (repeat about 10 times ) doing wierd kickboxing moves; this continued for my entire workout; yelling crap and saying stuff like ''fucking gringos'', ''kickboxing'', ''knee to the head'' ''you think i cant see you but I can'' ''thai boxng will finish you''. and in between each work a little kick or punch he repeated it in spanish - very strange guy.

Of course not one staff member said anything to him even though he had a personal trainer from the gym helping him while yelling stuff across the room!!!

Investment Strategy - buying when others are crying!! Offloading when others are gloating!!!

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Escape Artist says on Apr 27, 2009, 17:24:

bickerss: For those in Medellin it sounds like the new gym at the Charlee might be the ticket to avoid this type of encounter in the future. Guys like that won't be allowed in the elevator let alone the gym.

EA

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bickerss says on Apr 27, 2009, 17:27:

I would have thought this gym would have done something - it went on for about 40 minutes and not one staff member did anything, just averted their eyes - pretty pathetic really. Anyway - first time I have been really hassled here so have had a pretty good run!!

Investment Strategy - buying when others are crying!! Offloading when others are gloating!!!

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Escape Artist says on Apr 27, 2009, 17:29:

You handled the situation perfectly and if it did come to physical contact my money would be on you. Cheers!

EA

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bickerss says on Apr 27, 2009, 17:32:

Will see how it goes for the next few days - if it was in a nightclub I would have said he was spaced out on drugs, but who goes to a gym on drugs!!!

Investment Strategy - buying when others are crying!! Offloading when others are gloating!!!

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Escape Artist says on Apr 27, 2009, 17:50:

All the gringos! They're all on steroids! (insert joke)

EA

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manINred says on Apr 27, 2009, 18:33:

wtf?

internet superhero brags/jokes about killing a guy. Apparently the assault knocked out one too many neurons.

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Satan says on Apr 27, 2009, 19:20:

wtf? Anyone who gave his admission one ounce of credibility is missing a few neurons.

Don't you know... Big man on internet = Weak wimp in real life!

Nata S.

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Apr 27, 2009, 19:39:

This shit thread was done an buried ALONG TIME AGO until MEDO bumped it with some real Bullshit!

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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whitewidow says on Apr 27, 2009, 19:44:

i call bullshit. msherry is talkin some chit.....

I'm no doper! I just play one on TV.

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msherry says on Apr 28, 2009, 08:42:

I just ended wubyouall. see if he responds again. he won't.

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mranderson says on Apr 28, 2009, 08:44:

I thought I was next?

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msherry says on Apr 28, 2009, 10:00:

haha-

Only having a little fun MrAnderson, don't worry...nobody's next.

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Miguel_Clavo says on Apr 28, 2009, 10:41:

mrandersen..you sound disappointed??? =)

RVW orderded me to remove my tagline congratulating the PBH Mods New Golden Boys. Lame.

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whitewidow says on Apr 28, 2009, 16:29:

i heard anderson was so dissapointed, he off'ed himself........ maybe a rumor.

I'm no doper! I just play one on TV.

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davidslc46 says on Apr 30, 2009, 06:30:

Bickerss says

Must be a Medellin thing - was at the gym tonight and some crazy guy was yelling stuff in english about americans. Guessing as I was the only gringo-ish looking person there, it was directed at me. He then walked to me and away (repeat about 10 times ) doing wierd kickboxing moves; this continued for my entire workout; yelling crap and saying stuff like ''fucking gringos'', ''kickboxing'', ''knee to the head'' ''you think i cant see you but I can'' ''thai boxng will finish you''. and in between each work a little kick or punch he repeated it in spanish - very strange guy.

Of course not one staff member said anything to him even though he had a personal trainer from the gym helping him while yelling stuff across the room!!!

Bickerss

In my limited experience this is nothing short of fear and predudice. Usually seen when drinking or in a small barrio where you invoke an insecurity within the individual. I have seen it directed at me in espanol twice in one year and I basically decided to take my toys and leave. In one case it was just some kid in a bar who was just drunk and he was enboldened to tell me all his resentments ( in spanish which I did not understand ). This was after I had rejected his rather drunk and all over me amigo behavior. The other time in a small barrio where I honestly have to admit there were some beautiful local girls and almost any of them would have gone with me had I been interested. This was a little more serious, he was not drunk but he clearly did not like my gringo ass in his little piece of the world. In both cases we left. WE was myself and a very good Colombian friend who is about as connected as you could be and who could have intervened succesfully on my behalf in either case.

But I am committed to no enemies in Colombia. I would not survive as I spend much time in smaller areas often alone. So I will not antagonize a situation. They were both kids, no older then early 20`s.

For the first time in my life I wondered if this is what a black man experienced when he found himself a minority in a place where fear about him invoked a negative response from a couple of people. The difference I see is I have the resources to walk away and leave those little guys in the world they are stuck in.

Anyway, You did the right thing and I think the management has to do a better job of taking care of north americans. I worked out in Fitwell Gym in Envigado for a while and the owner Oscar would not have tolerated it. I never had one negative experience there primarily because the culture was north american friendly. Today I spend time in a gym in Bello and even though there is not Oscar to influence culture, I am treated very well.

But I am also one of the biggest guys you will see there so I am keenly aware that despite the smiles there are a very very small percentage of men who resent my size, my resources, or my nationality.

Lets be honest though, have we not had a small percentage of assholes whereever we have been in this world? My friend drags ( willingly ) me into these places I would never go on my own. But I can think of any number of ethnic neighborhoods in the US that I would invoke even more hostility from the locals.

2 recognized assholes in a year with a potential for violence, is pretty good. If there were or are more incidents, I will share them. Both cases I was in places I would never have gone alone.


David

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bickerss says on Apr 30, 2009, 06:49:

David - thanks. This guy was reasonably big and quite loco; I was pretty annoyed at the staff for not even trying to subtly calm him down – it went on and on. I went to the gym the next day to talk to the administrator. He was good about it and said that they will not tolerate that in the gym, sorry that it happened to me especially as I am a guest in the country, and that he would e extra vigilant when I returned for my normal workout. He also asked which trainer the guy was with and who the guy was.

Have been back and have not seen the guy again.

Personally I think the administrator had to know about what occurred as 1) he was there that night (I thought he was the accountant) and 2) I can’t imagine all the staff not talking about how nutty the guy was and it getting back to him.

Investment Strategy - buying when others are crying!! Offloading when others are gloating!!!

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goin_south says on Apr 30, 2009, 17:35:

poem, jeff?
That was Mother T's Prayer.

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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davidslc46 says on May 1, 2009, 09:22:

Well I am referring to small neighborhoods or towns inside and around Barbosa. Within Barbosa as you go out towards the outer edges of the town there are neighborhoods that each has its local inhabitants. Within each of these are small discos or bars. It is interesting that I am for the most part willing and able to visit establishments solo in the heart of Barbosa, but these outer neighborhoods are not as used to the diversity I bring, and so I would only go with a friend. I can have 20 neighborhood kids and numerous men and women all hanging around mostly looking at us ( me ). They are curious only for the most part.

From Niqua to Barbosa and from Barbosa to Popolito there are numerous small barrios where stopping in and drinking is best done in the company of Colombian friends. Not just any friends either, my best friend is an attorney who was dirt poor as a child in Barbosa, and who had 17 brothers. Everyone knows of him and quite frankly I have never met any man who can walk into almost any place and truly be free. He is a great host and a great friend. I was very lucky in Colombia to find a novia and a friend who really like me. And I am not that easy to like. I am babbling, but I am speaking about experiences in personal freedom that I never really remember being all that available to me in the USA.

I sound like all I do is drink and too much time in Barbosa could kill me. There just is not a whole lot else to do on a Friday or Saturday night.

And for the most part it is exciting ( with friends ) to go from one place to the next, enjoying the people, the music, and the drink.

David

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cali373 says on Jun 9, 2009, 12:32:

I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. I hope this person get caught. seems to be part of this machismo atitude that still dominates lati america. I hate that attitude. i dont live there so i dont know what to tell you but I wouls not give up on Colombia

Smile if you are a thinker!

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MitchAlvarez says on Jul 11, 2009, 13:53:

hey mshery are you still alive?

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msherry says on Jul 11, 2009, 14:20:

Yes.

What kind of question is that?

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MitchAlvarez says on Jul 12, 2009, 12:33:

just checking on you...

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